is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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