once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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