She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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