so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i believe in u and ur pee
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
