my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
