East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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