I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
there is glitter all over my balls
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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