Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i believe in u and ur pee
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
