i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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