I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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