Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
