how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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