Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
