So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
