I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I have aggressive nipples.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm both gender and math confused
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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