The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
