it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
