ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
sarcasm needs its own font
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
