oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
