After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
