butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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