My sheets look like a crime scene.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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