just survived the first fart of the relationship.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
