he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
