New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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