There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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