are you still at the devil's house?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
