you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
