Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
your room smells of hookers.
And success
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize