if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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