why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
