His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
