he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My orgasm happened in two different decades
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
