you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
