It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
