you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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