i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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