Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
