margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
