I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
