he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
