OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
