I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize