You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize