my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
