LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
