Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
