Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize