Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
