i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
