How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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