I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
