I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
time to smoke my breakfast
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
