Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
