So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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