Your dad touched me again.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
