dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
