is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
