She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
