i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
