Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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