that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
