Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I am available for nakedness
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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